My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
