i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize