We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I party with great urgency now.
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