So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
