I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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