We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
