so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
