I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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