If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
and she was petting her beer can
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
