I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
as a side note pls kill me
I had to cum in my sink.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
