Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
