what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
