Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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