your thong is hanging out like whoa
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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