The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
oh god the rape fog is back!
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
