Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
