i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
