I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
