Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
