Screwed.edu
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
