I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
