I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
