Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
