remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
