i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
