If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
