i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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