My hand turned me down
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
