dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Randomize
