Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
40s are totally the cure
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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