That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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