Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
