Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
