he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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