can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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