Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
