it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
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