but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
