Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
