Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I have fence marks all over my body
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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