The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Randomize