It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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