Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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