She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
