dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize