just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Holy shit dude........stairs
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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