I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
How naked do you want me to be?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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