He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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