So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
