is your mom at the bar?
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
