Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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