did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
