sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Houston, we have a squirter
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
