You work out of a Hotel?
she woke up with a sticky ear
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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