People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
