This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
