Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
