I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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