you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
