I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
