they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Randomize
